if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I need moral support for this bender
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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