i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
