You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
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He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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