i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
