the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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