As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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