Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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