Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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