I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
