Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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