Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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