He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
