she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
