So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
