And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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