We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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