Have you finally orgasmed yet?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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