So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
