ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Two words: nipple clamps
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