so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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