I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Holy sore nipples Batman
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
