just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
