Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
