I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
