at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
