wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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