You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
