I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
