ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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