Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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