there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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