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I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
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