Texts From Last Night

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  (254): View more from Texas

  I see lights

  (512): View more from Texas

  Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.

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  (254): I see lights (512): Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home. http://tfl.nu/1708
  Replies (5) Good night (1342) Bad night (501)
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  (415): View more from California

  Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.

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  (415): Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass. http://tfl.nu/ng8b
  Replies (71) Good night (6309) Bad night (885)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.

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  (773): that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them. http://tfl.nu/o468
  Replies (10) Good night (3833) Bad night (1518)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.

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  (902): Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left. http://tfl.nu/ytq9
  Replies (28) Good night (7214) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.

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  (607): Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave. http://tfl.nu/8ei2
  Replies (12) Good night (1687) Bad night (5938)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.

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  (313): So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college. http://tfl.nu/hsa9
  Replies (4) Good night (3146) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"

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  (347): Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight" http://tfl.nu/561l
  Replies (5) Good night (3151) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.

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  (614): There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs. http://tfl.nu/ysqt
  Replies (10) Good night (3214) Bad night (1200)
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  (094): View more from

  After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.

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  (094): After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while. http://tfl.nu/x4in
  Replies (3) Good night (2750) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.

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  (602): You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice. http://tfl.nu/i4j5
  Replies (2) Good night (1395) Bad night (1403)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam

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  (813): I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam http://tfl.nu/m89k
  Replies (2) Good night (1124) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Is this an intervention?

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  (770): You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina" (678): Is this an intervention? http://tfl.nu/de9f
  Replies (3) Good night (974) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.

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  (315): I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me. http://tfl.nu/d1qj
  Replies (3) Good night (424) Bad night (215)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."

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  (909): While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run." http://tfl.nu/99ml
  Replies (1) Good night (822) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed

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  (843): yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed http://tfl.nu/7mxw
  Replies (5) Good night (258) Bad night (444)

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