I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.