dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.