She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.