This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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