i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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