my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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