Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
