So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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