i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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