I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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