After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
