i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
