Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
