i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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