My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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