my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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