Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
