i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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