we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
