I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
