It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just found puke in my bra..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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