she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
