At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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