my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize